17 May, 1911

I heard a dog barking in the night. He had something wrong with his hind leg - this morning the poor brute was dead. Today Wilson conducted an autopsy but could find nothing wrong. This is the third animal that has died here without apparent cause. He's going to examine the brain tomorrow.

I'm afraid we can place but little reliance on our dog teams and reflect ruefully on the misplaced confidence with which I regarded the provision of our transport. Well, one must suffer for errors of judgment.

I just hope I don't suffer too much.

Oates gave an excellent little lecture on the management of horses. I really should have had him go up to purchase them. He's feeding them chaff and either oats and oil-cake on alternate days, with bran mash in the evenings. We also had a talk on balancing our horses for pulling, and oats was helpful here too in referring to the gymnastic training done by foreigners with their horses.

It's all on those horses. I hope he's got it right.

8 December, 1910

Did you know we get through half a ton of coal a week just for cooking? We are many mouths and hungry fellows all.

We are not going as fast as I could like, and the headwind we are fighting doesn't help. I am worried about fuel. Had to furl all sail today as we battle out way South.

Am awfully tired today -- up all night unable to sleep thinking about the animals, wondering if they are sentinent beings like people and whether they will remember this dreadful voyage. Animals are awfully sensitive about places where they've been injured and I wouldn't want them giving us a hard time due to traumatic memories. They are soaked and the ship's rolling makes it hard for them to stand 24 hours a day. Not enough room for them to lie down. That's OK; horses sleep standing. I wonder if they dream. I wonder what they dream of.

All our hopes are pinned upon the ponies. I still think dogs useless when it comes to polar work and general survival. They have recovered from their dousing during the gale remarkably well though. They went from death's door to right as rain in a single day.

Have been watching blue whales from the deck. They are the biggest creatures ever to have lived. And I feel quite the smallest.